In this episode of the Understanding Human Design Podcast, Host Karen Curry Parker, interviews Certified Quantum Human Design Specialist, 2/4 Time Bender (Manifesting Generator) Kalyani Pardeshi.
Wherever she went, Kalyani faced bullying. At school, in the workplace and even within family. She started to feel that there was something wrong with her, that she wasn’t “good enough.” No matter how hard she tried, she felt isolated. This led to people pleasing behaviour, she just wanted to be loved and accepted by those around her. She struggled to understand why they didn’t.
Six years ago, she gave up trying to understand this and just focused on healing herself. Part of this healing process led her to Quantum Human Design. Delving into her own unique Human Design, she discovered the long lasting effects bullying had left on her – decades after she was out of the traumatic situations. Armed with this new knowledge, she has made it her mission to help parents and teens who are struggling with trauma caused by bullying. She brings a non-traditional and unique perspective to overcoming trauma caused by bullying.
Kalyani has written and self-published “Unbullied: 14 techniques to silence the critics, externally and internally.” Her book recently won an honour award from a NY publication and she has been interviewed by many, including Hollywood Times.
You can purchase Kalyani’s book here: https://www.amazon.com/Unbullied-techniques-silence-Externally-Internally/dp/1079160361/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid&sr
You can check out Kalyani’s Website Here: https://www.kalyanispeaks.com/
Visit Kalyani’s Profile here: https://www.quantumalignmentsystem.com/hd_specialist/kalyani-pardeshi/
Connect with her on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kalyanispeaks049/
Connect with her on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/kalyani.pardeshi
Hi everyone. I’m Karen Curry Parker. Welcome to the understanding human design podcast. I am so excited to have with us today. Quantum human design level two specialists Kaylani per day. She and I am so sorry if I have butchered your name, but I tried, but I don’t want to get lost in the story about your name, because I want to get lost in the story of the work that you’ve created. You are the author of a beautiful book called unbelief, and your book has been recognized this year by skipping stones and won an honor award for its content for its amazing healing powers for the insights and the, and the, the deep awarenesses that you give people about bullying and in the conversation that you and I have the privilege of sharing before we started, you shared with me a little bit about how you came upon human design, quantum human design, and you saw immediately, even though you didn’t know why, because you have a defined sacral, you saw me somehow there was a relationship between the work that you’ve done on helping people heal from the pain of bullying and human design. So unpack all of that for me. Will you,
So I think one of the most beautiful experiences as I was studying human design was learning about myself because I honestly believe healing never ends. It’s like an onion. You just keep peeling the layers off. And I have an undefined oil center. So one of the things, the themes that keep coming up in my life because of the bullying was always trying to prove my worth and value until a friend finally asked me, why do you do it? And it’s like, well, because no one else will notice me. The thing is that we end up believing what is said to us. And unfortunately we take it to heart. And when we would take it to heart, we forget who we are. Human design actually told me who I really was, why I was the way I was, and I had this tool. And I thought, what if, what if I could take this tool and bring it to teens who are being bullied and help them understand why they feel the way they do and what they can actually do about it? Because yes, we feel a certain way and we tend to suppress it because it’s easier to bottle it up and try to be happy on the surface. But when we address, what’s really going on, understanding why we feel that way. And step two, what can we do about it? That’s when the healing begins.
That’s so powerful. So, you know, in the work that I’ve done with human design over the last 21 years, you know, I first started off as a healer. I’ve always served first as a healer. That’s my background. And, you know, human design in the beginning for me was just, Oh, here’s a really interesting way to gain deep insights. And as I continued to work with the system, you know, I really got clear that just doing a reading and having insights wasn’t enough, it was a good start, but it wasn’t really helping people get to the heart of what was causing the pain and how to get out of pain. So one of the things that I think is so powerful about the work that we’ve done, and I know you have that book somewhere, so you show us the copy of your book, okay, let me just fish it out of my drawer and bullies.
He there’s your book. And it’s one of the things that you have talked about is the, you know, just doing human design, isn’t enough that you have to do healing and it’s, you can’t just start telling a new story about I’m beautiful. I’m wonderful. And try to step into it without doing the healing work. So tell me a little bit about what you mean about you, that, that just simply acknowledging the bullying and trying to reframe it in your mind. Isn’t enough. It’s just a, band-aid. Tell me about what you need to do to get rid of the bandaid and actually heal. So
My favorite masterclasses that I have is on verbal bullying and a question I always questioned my students. I put this question ahead and I say, ask yourself not what is the right thing to do, but what is the most loving thing to do in this situation? So you have this verbal bully coming up to you and saying something really nasty to you. Traditional methods teach us well, just ignore the belief. There’s something wrong with the bully. Yes, fine and dandy. But you’re sitting there. You’re getting all these words that you and it’s hurting. It’s really hurting. And I love giving this example. So this happened to me six years ago, where a family member decided to tell me how I should raise my children and my many gen a time vendor defined, sacred, very powerful. You don’t tell me what to do. Right? Defined throat.
You don’t tell me what to do. And I kind of set some bounds and this person starts viewing a lot of anger and hatred towards me. Pretty much to say, I don’t care about you. I don’t want to see your face. I hate you. And I thought to myself, what is the most loving thing I can do for myself in this moment? And I said to him, thank you very much. That’s so awesome to know. I did not come back at it with anger, with hatred, spewing poison. I came back at it with love that, you know what? I’m choosing to love myself in this moment and thanking you for showing me your true colors and this person I’ve never known to be speechless. He was speechless, but it was the nail that really, you know, I hit, I hit it on the head right then and there.
So that’s why I talk about is that, what do you do in the moment? You’re not going to stand there and ignore the other person. It hurts. You can’t walk away from it because you’re going to be sitting. I used to do this. I’d be sitting in bed at the, Oh, I should’ve said this. I should’ve done that. You know, your running and spinning. And you want to say open head center, you know, you, you ask yourself, Oh, what could I have said? I should’ve said this. So each response is loving. And once you’ve done that loving response, that’s when you go and go to the code phrases of the heart, which I love so much and say, yes, I am that love. I am that compassion. I am serving. I’m serving humanity first by serving myself by loving myself first, the way I am meant to be loved
So you’ve looked at the human design charts and you, you do a lot of work with children and bullying. And one of the things that you’ve noticed is that there is a correlation between how a person is bullied and how the kinds of bullying a child experiences and their open center. So tell me a little bit about that. We don’t have to meet every nine centers, but I know.
So my favorite ones to talk about as the open throat center, because I experienced that with my daughter who is any emotional and sorority orchestrator projector. And she faced cyber bullying from one of her dear friends. So this has been someone who has, who was her friend from kindergarten and she’s in grade eight now. So with that open throat center center, she’s thought she’s unseen. She’s unheard. And I remember we were sitting at a restaurant, one of our favorite restaurants and she just refused to eat. And she just put her head down to just put her head down. And I said, okay, sweetheart, we going to sort this out, okay, we’re going to do this together. And I sat down with her and I eventually became one of my masterclasses. It’s the loudspeaker. And I hashed out a step-by-step plan because she wanted to speak up for herself, but she didn’t know how to.
And I showed her how to do it. And she came back home the next day. And she said to me, mommy, you won’t believe it. The teacher spoke to her and she put her in her place and she has apologized to me. Mommy. Thank you. So, so much. The other favorite central I love talking about is the undefined root center. This again came up with my daughter, telling me about one of her friends was bullied and she says, mom, she’s such an overachiever. Like, she’s just gotta be first in everything I said to her, she probably has an undefined route because you told me she was bullied when she was in elementary school. And that’s because they went to win at everything because they couldn’t win against the bully and the undefined would puts pressure to achieve. And when we put pressure on herself to achieve, we’re burning ourselves out. But as a parent, you’ll just say, Oh, yay. My kids over the bullying. And it’s so successful. Look at how well they’re doing in school and extracurricular activities. But meanwhile, back at the rounds that child’s burning out from the inside. So those two are my favorites. Talk about
That’s. Yeah, that’s so powerful. And I think, you know, it, it really explains a lot about the dynamics in relationships. You know, when we talk about human design and we talk about using it as a tool for self-awareness using as a tool for crafting a new, personal narrative, that’s more worthy of who you are. We all often talk about the power of understanding your human design in the context of your chart, your openness, and how, the way in which your energy blueprint, if you will engages with the world and really looking at how that sets you up to a certain degree for certain, you know, I don’t think that anything happens by accident. I don’t, I would like to move further on in our consciousness to where bullying doesn’t become the arena within which we learn about our value and our lovability. I think we could find better ways to fill or that a lot of sun, but at least at that stage still, we’re still exploring who we are in the context of the relationships that we have in. Sometimes for a lot of us, we end up learning a lot about who we are and our value and our preciousness and our lovability in the arena of bullying, whether it’s at school as children, or even later on in our relationships where we don’t set good boundaries and we let people mistreat us or disrespect us because oftentimes we’re not doing it for ourselves either.
Exactly. So one of the things I would love to just chip in here with sorry to interrupt you, is that for me having been through bullying at every stage of my life, one of the things that I have learned is that, okay, what’s the lesson in this, for me, the lessons I’m not loving myself enough because it starts with me that love that acceptance, that support, that recognition, that appreciation that value. It starts in me for me. And then that’s when my environment changes.
Yeah, totally that’s and I think that’s so powerful. And I think, you know, in the master alignment programs that we do, when we work on helping people using EFT and using the human design chart, kind of as a backdrop for some of the tapping, you know, I would say the vast majority of our people have been bullied on some level and are really carrying the pain of that through sometimes decades of their life. And, you know, really looking at how we can make both the internal shifts and then also the external shifts. So it’s not a part of our cultural strain or is huge.
It is huge. And I think one of the worst bully that exists in this world is our own internal critic.
Mm Oh yeah. Tell me about Gertrude.
So Gertrude, I gave her a name, Gertrude she’s my internal critic. And the reason I gave her her name is because somewhere along the line, I always believed that I did not truly, truly have zero faith in myself. So that’s why she became another person. And then when I went through my healing process, I did the bandaid. Yes, I am. Meditation’s all of that stuff, but you know what? It didn’t work. It did not. I always kept coming back to beating myself up until finally I started EFT topping and I just said, Oh, you know what? You don’t belong in here. I’m evicting you. Here’s your notice go? And she’s gone. She’s gone because every trigger, every trigger is an opportunity for me to look at myself, what do I need to heal here? What do I need to heal here? And that’s why I, I used to get shaken by triggers, but now it’s like, okay, it’s an opportunity for me. I need to heal from this. How can I teach other people to heal? Unless if I heal myself,
That’s so good. I could show it this how to do it. Right. Right. Totally, totally beautiful. So, all right. So show us your book again. Unbelief, unbelief, where can people get it? It’s on Amazon. Okay, perfect. So Amazon hold your name up. So vacancy your name. There we go. I’m not going to try to say it again. And where can people, where can people find out more about you?
My website is Kalyani speaks.com because I have a voice and I speak a lot. So yes. Can nanny speaks.com? I do have. My favorite section is life’s lessons. So I just literally take everyday experiences and I share them and I say, so this happened, but this is what I learned from it. What can you learn from it? So it was amazing. I just want to share this quick lesson if I may. So on Monday I was walking my son to school and it was so beautiful outside. It was the sun. I’m going to actually post that picture. It’s the sun was red underneath purple clouds. And I thought to myself, because I am blessed to have a beautiful connection with the universe, with the divine. And I thought to myself, you know, here in Alberta, we’ve had new restrictions. So I said, this is the university it’s December.
And we don’t have temperatures below freezing, but now it’d be freezing cold. It’d be minus 20. And heaps of snow. I said, this is the universe showing us that I understand you’re caged right now. So I’m giving you good weather and beautiful scenery. Get out there, get the fresh air. I got you. We got to pay attention. That’s my biggest thing. We’ve got to pay attention. Could it be in the moment you gotta feed it. You’ve gotta be in that moment. You got to feel it. And that’s, that’s when the healing starts because we either ahead or behind us a GRE rarer, let’s move forward. Let’s move back. Oh, I wish this be in the moment. Be in the moment. It’s so beautiful.
Yeah, totally, totally awesome. All right. You’re going to hear more about bullying and human design. We’ve got you and I’ve been cooking on some projects, so stay tuned for more, you know, I think, you know, as a, as we sort of bring this tinker inclusion, you know, the piece that I would just lovingly and gently say, maybe not even gently, just boldly say, you know, in the last 21 years I’ve looked at, God knows how many charts I’ve stopped counting way more than 10 way more than a hundred thousand. If we look at the numbers of charts that we’ve run, I’ve probably done eight to 10,000 readings in my time. And I know, you know this too, when you, when you’ve been, you’re, you’re more new to human design, but you’ve, you’ve been looking at the face of humanity, all of your life, with the intent to heal.
And you work a lot with children and you see in every child that inherent genius, that just is, you know, the story of humanity, you do not deserve to be bullied. No one does. Every single one of you on this planet is a unique once in a lifetime cosmic event. And it is so important that we continue to craft a global environment where all people are free and safe and supported and loved. And that unfolding of the story of who you are, is supported and nurtured. Not only by your family, your friends, your school, your community, but by the world and by the energy that we all hold. And the more we can heal our own wounding by following the wisdoms of, of Kellyanne and your beautiful book and the work that you do, the more we follow these kinds of teachings and do our own work and heal.
As you said, then the more healing we have to offer the world. I just want to add one little thing. I firmly believe it is way easier to mold a child than it is to mend an adult. So what if we raise these teenagers, these young minds to be healed already? What will the world look like in 20 years when they become adults? Totally, totally. I’ve. I’ve always said that, like, if we didn’t have to spend 40 years healing as adults and we could just get to work creating from the title of 21, what would we do in this world? It would be amazing. I agree with you. Good job. Thank you. It has been an honor and such a delight to have you here today. I’m so excited to share you with the world and share your beautiful work with the world. Thank you so much for all that you’ve contributed in the work that you’ve done and unbelief on Amazon. Go get your copy. Thank you so much.
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